I still hold on...

It makes me go crazy

The Past

But I never let others know

Still holding on to the grudges,

The mistakes,

Forgiveness, doesn't come

Naturally to me

I still hold on,

Even though, its all gone

The spitefulness within,

Burns more fiercely,

My thoughts hurt me more and more

The lids closed though and

the tumult within

Unknown to the ones I love

Respite I find through words and colours

But I still hold on

Even though, its all gone

Dark Secrets,

Deep Regrets

Somethings, never to be shared

Never to be let out

To the grave they will go

With me and me alone

A Pandora's Box,

But I still hold on

Even though, its all gone

Bright sunny meadows...

fragrance of fresh hay and flowers

Amalgamate and bring forth haunting memories

Of the childhood past...adolescence lost

The Age of innocence and freedom

simplicity and fun....

The splendour of the sunset 

reminds of the playful abandon and careless joy

Nothing to regret, nothing to contemplate

Living in the moment

Of pure ecstasy, grief or anger

And move on as well

The brilliance of the past is long gone....

The future is doubtful...

The present looks bleak...dark and deep...

Lets for one moment

Be happy as we are now

At this moment...

Forget the world and Just BE...

Crossroads...

I stand here wondering which

Path to take

The paths which are yet to be made…

The paths already traced out in front

Where will they take me

What dangers and hurdles lie in front

I know not

Only the courage and spirit of life

Takes me ahead

But still I am in a dilemma

Knowing that it doesn’t matter, whatever

Has to happen will

But still the mind wonders and wonders on

The confusion clouds the mind

And renders logic and reason helpless

As I stand wondering here which path to take in life

Well there is always a tendency in me to complicate my life... I think I am very good at it...may be no one can do it like me...

Just cannot let life be as it is,

Always the search for more,

better, and even more...

The Quest, almost always lands me

in a quagmire, the solution to which

Involves that which am terrible at ;

Deciding

between something desirable, lovable, 

unnatainable, unreasonable or un

Importance of anyone, questioned, cannot be

I procrastinate, delay and try to circumvent

And then comes a point where finally life takes a decision!!!

And tries to attain the equilibrium that 

I always tend to destroy....

I know it