A bit of dirty linen needs to be cleaned

I have a problem with a certain person and I have been contemplating whether it would be appropriate to write about this at all. It has been some time since this incident, but it has been eating me up that someone could get away with bad mouthing and bitching about me in a way that is so disgraceful and lowly. Neither can I still accept that someone can be so vicious and two faced. I need to vent out and do something about it... So here it goes!

I came to this institute with great expectations both from the institution and its people. One of the expectations  was to forge lasting friendship. I did also know that most of the student here would be younger than me and mostly fresh graduates. Never thought that it would be a problem. Also I believed that I could more or less understand a person and his or her character in a span of time.

All of this was proved wrong! Somewhere I made a mistake... I trusted the devil herself. And I expected some other lesser demons to actually be there for me during the hard times.  But anyway, the demons are being ignored right now

The first devil is responsible for a depression lasting for more than a month and had it been not for  few really close friends of mine ...it would have been difficult for me to put myself together. The lady in question made my life hell after becoming close to me. All the sweet talk,  sharing, going out places was replaced with banging doors, heavy silence, seclusion, bitching ( dirty lies) about me to her parents, to others( whom she used to  'hate' before!) in my presence!I wasn't entitled to even human considerations. Initially I thought I have done something really wrong (unintentionally) which is causing this kind of a out-lash, so I tried to talk to her and find out what exactly is the problem. But each time her response was more confusing and bewildering than anything.  The situation was thus that there was no way I could avoid her and this made me lose my cool and also affected my academic performance. It was definitely my fault that I allowed this person to get to me in this way. The  I cringe to think that what would be state when such a person gets into an organisation or a serious relationship! God also kind of let me get hurt, I guess to understand that I have a long way to go before I can actually unravel the twisted intricacies of certain human (devilish?) minds. Finally the ordeal ended for me. 

I never bothered with that person after that, just thankful that I am finally with people are genuine and who really care for me. The kind of damage her loose tongue had done was revealed to me only recently, which is making me furious within but also pity people like her who are shallow, superficial and fake. I also pity people who do not recognize people like this and get carried away by sweet talking frauds. But it is quite understandable that this artificiality cannot be sustained and true colours are revealed finally.

I hope this devil finally finds redemption which would only happen when she realises her folly (which I doubt!) But I feel a lot better after writing this down. Also I hope you would be careful about trusting someone...always safe that sorry.  It always hurts when someone you trust betrays you, no matter how many times it has happened before. So I wish none of you have to go through what I suffered.

Why I am not able to write nowadays??

I have been contemplating for some days why I am not able to write as often as I used to before. I used to jot down something or the other at least once every week, and not just poetry. My views on various current issues, essays, poems etc etc. Its hard for me to even remember those days now. And not that I don't get ideas on what to write about (even though that's what my usual excuse is!!) I even get suggestion on what I could write about, but more often than not am not able to follow that up.

So I thought, like many do, let me also at least write about my inability to create something worthy with words.

A friend asked me recently, 'So what can be the reason you don't write as frequently as before?'

Here are the possible answers that I can think of :

1. I don't have time ? ( that sounds lame even to me!! he he)
2. Words don't flow as they used to before (something which can be termed as 'writer's block?) Yes, to an extent this is true. Even though I may have an idea about what to write about, sometimes I am not able to express myself through my writings and so i just give up.
3. Not inspired enough? Hmm...true, although the correct word would be passionate enough... not passionate enough about anything to write about it.
4. What I write I scrap.... yeah that happens often too...

Okay, Okay! I can go on about my various reasons, but what I want to and should do is begin again.... transforming my thoughts and imagination into words, linking them to the real world and hopefully creating something which you would love to read, think about and may be discuss... which would touch your mind and soul... give you some happiness, a break from the daily stress and tension... like a pleasant breeze , enthralling waterfall or a beautiful sunset!!!

Wow! That would actually make my day!!!

Wish me luck....

:)

Places and fond memories!!

Being an army officer's daughter, we had to travel a lot. Sometimes within a year, six months or even within two months!! As a result I have been to 14 different schools from lower kindergarten onwards till the XIIth Standard. Sometimes used to find it quite tough, moving on, leaving friends!!! But then the thrill of shifting to a new place, meeting new people, making new friends also was there. Each place has given new experiences and learning, some fond memories, some sad moments and really great friends!! Every city, town or village has something unique to it and something endearing. Either the people there, the climate, the teachers, friends, the freedom or some other factor which makes it unforgettable and memorable. After the initial adjustment issues, I always got emotionally attached to the place, only to move again. May be that is the reason that I don't have the particular attachment to any place. Home is where I am, where my family is. Whichever be that city, town or village.