Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Been a long time now!!

Its been a long time since I have written anything.. I guess I was out of touch with my creative self.. Writing is in essence my shelter... my own world away from the real one...The world which i turn to in times of distress, confusion or anger...

The past few months have gone by fast... So fast that I have not had the time to take a slow down and look within.. introspect...analyse..think...

I am guessing that I will have lots of time to do that now...Right now I am just going to write about whatever pops up in my head

When i think about myself..About the purpose of my existence... the aim of my life... I get confused. I have a lot of good ideas about what I can do with my life... But none of them actually tempt me enough to take a concrete step towards it. Yes, I am indecisive, I procrastinate and I am not determined enough I guess.

From there let me come to what my family criticises me about

My mother says I am good at twisting words and interpreting meanings that may or may not be there.. My father says I am very critical...My brother, well he is totally fed up of my temper... Well all said and done... I love them and they love me too.

I have made a lot of mistakes in life...well am kind a black sheep in my family..but i don't regret it. Cause God made me that way, I speak my mind and do things which I feel are right (sometimes i do them knowing that they are wrong :P) But I know that my God loves me, he protects me and guides me sometimes too... Cause again I am here for a reason...

Reason for my existence??? well there has to be some reason right?

There are times when you are lonely even in a crowd... it happens to me often... I just kind of blank out everything else... I wish that was possible more often... especially when one tries to study :P

What does feeling lonely actually mean... is it something within you.. or is it external... can somebody make u feel lonely even when you are with them, or does loneliness come from within like happiness?

Oh it feels so nice to just go on writing you know... The maximum that can happen is that one of you guys may criticise my style of writing or the contents...right?? and I am open for a discussion!!

Will be trying to continue writing regularly...


Asti said...

Searching for a raison d'ĂȘtre will only result in the raison d'ĂȘtre being the search itself. Perhaps one should exist in order to allow others to exist. (Yes, Descartes can roll over)

Happiness can come from any source. But I feel happiness becomes real only when it is shared.

Seeking Salvation said...

Gud one Malathy... I can relate to this... Keep writing more... I feel U just winded up... It was having a nice flow (*kudos) but a sudden ending... Keep writing :)