Thursday, December 6, 2012

The Bald Decision!


Its been about two weeks since it happened.... Just got up one day and decided yes it was the right to do this... Its now or never!! I have been told that I am indecisive, confused etc etc time and again at different points of my life but there is one thing which I know and people who really understand me know. That once I decide something then I would do it, go through the full circle... Not always to my advantage but anyway..

So then I got it done... Shaved off all my hair!! Yup, finally gathered enough courage to do it. It was funny to see the reaction of the hair stylist when I said I want to completely get rid of the hair on my head.... 'but WHY!!?' and I could not stop laughing at his reaction. My classmate who accompanied me was also excited...

So why did I do it? I have tried to honestly mention all the reasons here :)

1. Few years back, on a visit to a temple in Karnataka, I had seen a rather young and much in love India couple who both had shaved heads. It fascinated me. The lady was looking rather radiant and beautiful in her bald avatar.I decided I would also get it done at least once in my life.

2. Reading about what shaving of the hair signified, I realised that beauty  and vanity of a woman is also associated with her hair. All the poems and songs about the thick, dark, luscious hair of a beautiful ladylove that I am sure all of us (at least Indians) have heard more than just once. How obsessed are with our hair? It defines our personality, makes us worried and concerned (hair fall!!!!), makes us spend time and money on taking care of its looks ( Oiling, styling). What it would be not to have to worry about that for a few months? How would I feel?

3. I do not consider myself religious but rather spiritual. I believe that your sense of self and also ego is to a great extent related to your outward appearance of which hair also is a major part. Thus shaving of the hair for me also signifies a type cleansing,a kind of letting go of that attachment to myself and my outward appearance. 


And how did I feel when my hair was being shaved off?

A strange sense of non attachment. I did not feel any sadness or wistfulness at the fact that my hair was all going. I myself was surprised by that sense of calm within me. The person who shaved my hair was sadder and stated it with these words " You know how much time it would take for your hair to grow to this length now?" (not that my hair was that long and luscious!!)

What did I feel after ?
Lighter, happier and HIGH on my baldness!!! Also a slow change in how I perceive myself, I cannot describe exactly what.... but looking at life from a different lens, with a sense of non attachment, objectivity and greater levels of kindness and love. I did not know that such a small act of mine could make that kind of a change in me.


What were the reactions?

The most important people in my life are my parents and brother and as always they were uber cool with this move of mine. Everyone wanted reasons!! Some people were damn shocked and totally in disagreement and stated so... Most women were actually complementing on my boldness/bravery/ courage/confidence... an angle which I did not think about at all in all the years I have been contemplating shaving off my head. Some people say that I look even better in this style, especially some real good looking men and women ;)

So these were some of the questions that I have been asked by friends, well wishers and complete strangers have wished to get answers to. Thought I would share to get your comments.

16 comments:

VARUN MOORTHY, K said...

That was indeed a very good explanation. Must say that you look pretty in this avatar too.

rahul said...

Liked your reason 2 and 3 for shaving it!

Mithun M Chand said...

Bald made you more beautiful.. When I first saw it, i thought u converted to buddhism. Its a change, a good change... !!

Mithun M Chand said...

you look more beautiful now... Some kind of a unique change... its ofcourse a bold decision... When I first saw u like this, I thought you converted to Buddhism..

Deepa Soman said...

Malathy, You still look very pretty and gorgeous, and that is something not many pretty women - when bald - can calim to look like. Hats off! :)

andE said...

HIgh on baldness ! had a lot of that but urs must b special for sure ! Being wild is no sin & that never can be summed up in 3 points ! At least in ur case....

Mahesh Mohan said...

Malathy...i was shocked at first...but after reading this am motivated dear:P

totally speachless..hehe...kudos!!proud of u:)

debajyoti said...

that's awesome!!!! cheers :). and you do look good in this avatar.

i was a huge fan of Sinead O'Connor only because of her bald look.

Siddharth Waghulkar said...

i read this one today.. i had many questions abt ur baldness wich i nevr asked..but all of them are answered now.. nd must tell u.. i completely agree with wid it, 'getting rid of obsessions with ur outer self' nd trust me the look is amazingly awesome.. nd it takes courage to go bald.. i must say.. "u're a woman with the V" - not using the term 'balls' here..!! though some words may be used here.. wich may hurt people's sentiments.. but it rightly describes u..!!!

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Arnold said...

One of the reasons you offer for this monstrosity is this: Reading about what shaving of the hair signified, I realised that beauty and vanity of a woman is also associated with her hair. All the poems and songs about the thick, dark, luscious hair of a beautiful ladylove that I am sure all of us (at least Indians) have heard more than just once. How obsessed are with our hair? It defines our personality, makes us worried and concerned (hair fall!!!!), makes us spend time and money on taking care of its looks ( Oiling, styling). What it would be not to have to worry about that for a few months? How would I feel?
So going by this line of (twisted) logic, would you disfigure your face? More poems and songs are written about a woman's facial features than her hair! I don't think you would and you shouldn't...
The reasons you offer are stupid and silly and it looks like you are trying hard to keep yourself from regretting the foolishly impulsive decision you took, which you try to justify by compulsive babbling on deviant philosophies, the sort you seem to engage in and enjoy, even though the attempt fails miserably.

Malathy M said...

well thanks everyone for your comments and encouragement.

arnold... :) i never claim my reasons are intelligent.. but they are my reasons... and I would never inflict pain on myself for any reason. But the decision to shave my head was not impulsive...
Deviant or not unfortunately I have the right to babble on about my view on the world.. you also have a choice not to ignore them :)

Anonymous said...

Having shaved your head, you must be feeling really different and somehow special because of all the attention you receive…and less hot psychologically. But do you realize that you have disfigured yourself by doing this… that you have stripped yourself of something that is part of you? And by stripping off that identity you have made yourself inferior- Let me explain how-

1) Healthy hair indicates health and youth – you should talk to a cancer patient struggling to keep a little of that hair on their head. ( and I don’t mean encourage them, talk impartially) I’m sure a shaved head would have been unacceptable if it was imposed upon you by chemical radiation.

2) Its colour and texture gives you an ethnic identity – Hair naturally gives you a connection to who you are regarding ure background and you have denied yourself that identity

3) It is a sexual characteristic – There may be men who appreciate you but the acceptance would only be as someone different and not as part of the opposite sex.

4) It is part of the human body – imagine yourself without a limb/ an internal organ/ skin/ nails – taking off a part of your body makes it less complete and a little more ugly.

You did correctly identify that certain notions are attached with hair- and taking it off
makes you free. But do you also know that a certain modesty is expected of a woman not
because she should be contained within a cage but so that she remains safe and valuable for the man who is to marry her and see her as his other half. The hair is a covering for the head just as clothes are for the body. Beauty becomes beautiful only when there is modesty attached to it. Otherwise it becomes a public exhibition of self!


You may be thinking it will grow back but do you know that your hair protects your head? The hair found on the head serves as a primary source of heat insulation and cooling (when sweat evaporates from soaked hair) as well as protection from ultra-violet radiation exposure. Do you realize your scalp is a thin membrane and more white than the rest of your body? You should consider this now that global warming is on the rise.

San said...

Having shaved your head, you must be feeling really different and somehow special because of all the attention you receive…and less hot psychologically. But do you realize that you have disfigured yourself by doing this… that you have stripped yourself of something that is part of you? And by stripping off that identity you have made yourself inferior- Let me explain how-



1) Healthy hair indicates health and youth – you should talk to a cancer patient struggling to keep a little of that hair on their head. ( and I don’t mean encourage them, talk impartially) I’m sure a shaved head would have been unacceptable if it was imposed upon you by chemical radiation.



2) Its colour and texture gives you an ethnic identity – Hair naturally gives you a connection to who you are regarding ure background and you have denied yourself that identity



3) It is a defining characteristic of the female sex – There may be men who appreciate you but the acceptance would only be as someone different and not as part of the opposite sex.



4) It is part of the human body – imagine yourself without a limb/ an internal organ/ skin/ nails – taking off a part of your body makes it less complete and a little more ugly.



You did correctly identify that certain notions are attached with hair- and taking it off

makes you free. But do you also know that a certain modesty is expected of a woman not

because she should be contained within a cage but so that she remains safe and valuable for the man who is to marry her and see her as his other half. The hair is a covering for the head just as clothes are for the body. Beauty becomes beautiful only when there is modesty attached to it. Otherwise it becomes a public exhibition of self!





You may be thinking it will grow back but do you know that your hair protects your head? The hair found on the head serves as a primary source of heat insulation and cooling (when sweat evaporates from soaked hair) as well as protection from ultra-violet radiation exposure. Do you realize your scalp is a thin membrane and more white than the rest of your body? You should consider this now that global warming is on the rise.

taranath said...

Hi Malathy,
I happen to find this post of yours through Facebook. Trust me the word gets around quite fast.. I did read through your reasons and why you were keen on giving out answers, to many questions that people may have.

But the thing that interested me the most was that, me being a total stranger who has never met you is so intrigued by this act.. I totally admire your courage and i also think you look so beautiful (almost like an Egyptian queen of sorts:)).. But i have a few questions of my own...
Stuff like-
Do people who you work with treat you differently? Especially if you are facing a client etc..?

I'm sure you would have received some mixed reactions from the opposite sex, but would it offend/upset you, if any of them are particularly obsessed about your bald head (trust me there may be a few)?

The few comments i read seemed like some people just wanted to make you regret what you did, but were you ever poked fun at or teased or felt humiliated?

Well i hope you would answer some of these questions (I just think it would be super awesome \m/ to know a girl who shaved her head :))

Malathy M said...

Hi...
Well I was in Tata Institute of social sciences when I shaved my head, like people were definitely shocked at first especially since i had not actually shared that I wanted to shave my hair off and neither ppl expected me to be kind of person who would do something like that. Also from other people who I dont know or acquaintances I got mixed reactions to my bald head.

Yes i got attention due to my bald head both from men and women who were kinda obsessed with the whole bald look and that was actually unexpected. It did not upset me but amused me!

I was teased by some friends of mine but never humiliated. I guess being in Mumbai gave me some leeway, I couldn't expect the same acceptance in my native place or place where I am currently working....